Jun 10, 2013

How Not Showing Interest On The First Date Is Killing Your Love Life

Contrary to popular belief, ‘playing it cool’ severely limits your love life.

There are thousands of forums out there that perpetuate this thought – bitter men discussing how being ‘open, honest and nice’ doesn’t pay off.

But there is a big difference between showing interest in an attractive way and grovelling at someone’s feet in a needy way.

Here are four things you can do to show more interest in a balanced and attractive way.

1. Praise Her

On her core values, interests, and passions.  Make it known that you like that she likes things.  Men are often afraid to compliment because they sense a loss of ‘power’ when they show interest.  This is your ego talking and it doesn’t need to be acknowledged.  Get over yourself, and let her know that her honesty/intuition/laugh really does it for you.

2. Be Revealing

You know those things that you would generally rather avoid talking about on dates?  The things that if someone found out about you they just might turn and run the other way?

Robert Glover once said, “Humans are attracted to each other’s rough edges”.  The things that you expose about yourself that are the most authentic and sometimes scary, are often the things that endear people to you the most.  So rip those skeletons out of the closet and let one roam free on the first date.  Give it a shot.

showing interest, love, romance

3. Dive In To Conversational Depth

Common topics that people like to avoid early on in relationships?  Personal values, morals, and sex.

There is no reason to put off these vital topics.  As long as you are bringing them up in a calm, calibrated way, there’s nothing to worry about.  Besides, you’ll save yourself a lot of time by not dating people that aren’t a match for you in the first place.

4. Giving Her A Chance

Maybe she didn’t make the greatest first impression…  maybe she was nervous… maybe a couple of her answers weren’t 100% matching your “Ideal woman” list that you keep on your vision board…

But if you are too quick to hit the eject button on a new relationship you could be seriously missing out.  The greatest long term relationships don’t start with a dizzying high of emotions and happy brain chemicals.  Quite the opposite in fact.

It’s been proven that the healthiest, longest lasting relationships start (emotionally) as more of a slow burn process.

You meet her and you find her very intriguing.  Your heart doesn’t race like crazy the first time you lay your eyes on her (as this is more likely lust or the makings of a short-term infatuation).  You talk and it feels very natural and easy.  The more you talk and the more time you spend around each other the more sense it makes.  Things naturally progress along until you find yourself feeling certainty that she makes you a better person.

Compare that to the flash-in-the-pan nature of the short term infatuation/peak/resolution cycle… and you’re looking at very different processes.  Pay close attention to what you feel when meeting new partners, as you might actually be letting the best potential partners for you slip away because they don’t stop you in your tracks from the first chance encounter.

Bottom line…

Women are attracted to guys who can emote, show praise, and be themselves without fear.  Accomplish all of these things simultaneously by heeding whichever of the points most resonates with you.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan

Blog

Related

See All
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
Mar 24, 2019
Jordan Gray
Do You Regret An Entire Relationship? Here’s What’s Actually Going On
I was talking to a client the other week, and he mentioned that he regretted a year long relationship that had recently come to an end in his life. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard someone saying that they wished they could undo the fact that an intimate relationship had taken place. If this is...
Continue Reading
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
Oct 24, 2015
Jordan Gray
The Benefits Of Entrepreneur / Entrepreneur Relationships
I've written in the past about the best type of intimate partner for an entrepreneur, and things that driven people need in their love lives, but what about when both of the people in the relationship are entrepreneurs and/or self-employed? I get this question quite regularly so I thought I would...
Continue Reading
New Relationship? Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome Your Anxiety
Mar 4, 2018
Jordan Gray
New Relationship? Here Are 5 Ways To Overcome Your Anxiety
One of the most common questions that I get on a weekly basis is... "I'm in a new relationship and I feel a low level state of anxiety basically 24/7. Am I normal!? Will this ever end? Should I listen to my anxiety and run, or hunker down and stick it out?" Many a new relationship...
Continue Reading
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
Dec 9, 2013
Jordan Gray
7 Things All Women Need In A Relationship
When it comes to what women need in a relationship, men and women are at an emotional stalemate. We feel something lacking in our relationships. The majority of modern men aren't able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men. Women aren't opening because men aren't giving...
Continue Reading
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
Sep 21, 2015
Jordan Gray
What The Most Compassionate People All Have In Common
I was on a weekend retreat in Colorado with thirty other people. Each of the people that were there was selected by the primary criteria of them all being young entrepreneurs who were game-changers in their field (according to the event organizers). There was one woman in particular who I really felt...
Continue Reading
How To Know If She Is The Right One For You
Sep 11, 2013
Jordan Gray
How To Know If She Is The Right One For You
The intimate relationship that you choose to be in will be the single most important decision you ever make in your life. It will affect your health, your finances, and your emotional well-being more than almost any other decision you will make. So why do some people rush into it so haphazardly…...
Continue Reading